Tuesday 16 September 2014

The zombie apocalypse of 1814

Suppose I told you there was a zombie uprising in Kalamazoo, MI in the year 1814. A whole bunch of dead people rose from their graves and walked around in the streets, where lots of people saw them.

How do I know this? I read a report written by someone who knew all about it. It was written anonymously in the year 1874, but it greatly corroborates with another report written in 1854. Well, copied actually, but there are some unique additions as well. The horde of zombies is o
ne of them.

But wait, although this 1854 account was also written anonymously, and doesn't mention a horde of zombies rising from the dead, it DOES mention two specific people rising from the dead:
-The pastor of John the Baptist Church
-The daughter of a man named Jacob

There is also a more prophetic account written after both of these in 1894 that says it will happen again, and the only way to survive the coming zombie apocalypse, is to believe the first one happened. Sure, no witnesses in Kalamazoo around 1814 wrote about it, but I think these other reports are enough to go on, and besides, what if it's true and zombies are coming any day now?


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Suppose I told you that several bodies of the dead rose in Jerusalem in the year 30 A.D. A whole bunch of dead people rose from their graves and walked around in the streets, where lots of people saw them.


How do I know this? I read about it in the book of Matthew 27:51-53. Matthew was written anonymously in the year 90 A.D., but it greatly corroborates with the book of Mark, written in 70 A.D. Well, copied actually, but there are some unique additions as well. The dead walking the streets is one of them.


But wait, although this 70 A.D. account (Mark) was also written anonymously, and doesn't mention dead people walking the street, it DOES mention two specific people rising from the dead:
-A rabbi named Jesus
-The daughter of a man named Jairus

There is also a more prophetic account written after both of these in 110 A.D. (the gospel of John) that says Jesus is coming back, and the only way to survive the coming apocalypse, is to believe in Jesus. Sure, no witnesses in Jerusalem around 30 A.D. wrote about it, but I think these other reports are enough to go on, and besides, what if it's true and judgement is coming any day now?